1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

10. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

11. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

12. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

13. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

14. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

15. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

16. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

17. "He's got two brain cells; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

18. "If he were any dumber, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

19. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

20. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

21. "One neuron short of a synapse."

22. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

23. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

24. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.