Actual signs spotted around the world

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
Do not activate with wet hands.

At a Santa Fe gas station:
We will not sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.

At an Auto Body Shop:
May we have the next dents?

At the entrance of the large machinery plant:
Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road:
Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.

In a cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

In a cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a Los Angeles dance hall:
Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Maine restaurant:
Open seven days a week and weekends.

In a New York restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In an office:
After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)