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It is becoming more and more critical for all of us, especially us
senior citizens, to be "politically and socially CORRECT". For too long
we have been stating our opinions honestly and forthrightly. This must
stop. Below is information that when you study it and use it, it will
help you become more politically and socially correct. That way you will
be more dull and uninteresting in your conversations.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a
"CHICK"
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or
a "MOANER"
She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not "EASY" -
She is
"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE"
-
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF
THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED
COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or
"TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST
IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY
ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you -
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" -
She
is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have "MAJOR
LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
she is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT
HOOKER" -
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER
GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL
THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" -
He is
in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER"
-
He prefers "GENERATIONAL
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get
"FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a
"TOTAL ASS" -
He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE
CHAUVINIST PIG" -
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of
"COMMITMENT" -
He is "RELATIONSHIP
CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" -
He is
"SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you
see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
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