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NEW BABY


A man is  waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor  comes in and informs the dad that his son was  born without torso, arms or legs. The son is  just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and  compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first  drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh!  Plop!! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent;  then bursts into whoops of joy.

The father,  shocked, begs his son to drink again. The  patrons chant 'Take another drink!'   

The  bartender continues to shake his head in dismay.

Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop  out

The  bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing,  begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant,  'Take another drink! Take another drink!!'

The  bartender ignores the whole affair and goes  back to polishing glasses, shaking his head,  clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

   By  now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new  hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and  guzzles the last of it.

Plop! Plip!! Two legs  pop out. The bar is in  chaos.

The  father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks  God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right  through the front door, into the street, where a  truck runs over him and kills him instantly.


  The  bar falls silent. 
  The  father moans in grief.

  The bartender sighs and  says
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(Wait  for it)
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(It's  coming)
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   (Ya  ready?)
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*!  ! 
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*  (Don't hate me)
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* (You're  gonna hate me) 


*  (Take  a deep breath)
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'He  should've quit while he was a  head. '