Actual Classified Ads In Newspapers

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
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FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
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FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
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TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
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FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
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NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
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BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
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SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
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HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
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HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
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GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
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PARACHUTE FOR SALE NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
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ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
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OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
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FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.