At Large 1096 days

128 Days until PRESIDENTIAL election

I spent most of Monday taking pictures of the turned bowls and objects I still have on hand. According to the lathe log I have made 48 bowls and objects. I could only find 23 Monday. So somewhere or somehow I have sold or given away or hidden 25. The reason for the photo taking is that one of my respected fellow turners told me I was being foolish by not selling the bowls I have made. When I told him that I did not sell them because they were all defective due to my inexperience while I was learning. He reminded me that even the professional turners are learning every day and can always find flaws in their earlier products. He recommended $3 per inch of diameter added to a base of $5. That means a three inch bowl should be 5 + (3 X 3) or $14 plus shipping. I will put pictures and physical dimensions of the bowls and objects on my internet store along with a price list.

I had planned on spending today editing the pictures and coding the sales page until roomie asked me to help her transfer her email contacts to gmail last night. She has to because MSN is removing email support for "Outlook Express" and is moving all express users to live.com. In the process I discovered that her computer was loosing internet connection. As I trouble shot that I succeeded in finding or causing my desktop and laptop would no longer connect to the internet wirelessly. SHIT! I fought the connection until midnight and fell in bed. I fretted all night and then talked to the LESS THAN HELPFUL Comcast technician. At least I learned that the internet cable modem was working. After 3 hours fluttering around in wire and internet I went to Best Buy and bought a Model WRT54G2 Wireless-G Broadband Router. I truly expected to have all manner of trouble putting it inbto service and even having to call Cisco technical support. All my fretting was for nothing. I simply disconnected the old one and put the new router in service. Voila, internet connection for all three computers and even high speed for her computer internet data transfer.

Once I restored internet I check my email. Three hundred emails and about 50 in the junk folder. Only one in the junk folder was junk. It was the email notification from my wife that her email address had changed. I don't know why I don't use my gmail account more. Probably because I have my Outlook folders so organized and so many messages saved that I hate to redo any of it. If I ever do change I shall just "burn" all the old email when I leave.
I got a late start writing this because I watched "Wipeout" on TV. The show reminded me of the Japanese games shows that were once on Spike TV. The Japanese are a genuinely insane people. I used to think the Brits were crazy. Now I know that, compared to the Japanese, the Brits are powerfully sane. And I still have not started on the pictures. I am afraid I have the dreaded "roundtoit" disease.

Is there any more annoying commercial spokesman that the guy advertizing SHAWOW? Yes there are. The people touting the wonders of ShamWow are even worse! However, I want to try the stuff. There is a store at the mall that sells stuff seen on TV. If I ever go there I will buy ShamWoW.

We are having lunch tomorrow with my siblings and spouses in Roundtop. Then Friday my Houston kids and grandsons and I are going to watch fireworks at the Freedom over Texas celebration.



Junior grandson is so desperate to earn money for a cell phone that I promised him all money from sales of the wind chimes from now on belong to him. Please buy all you can. Not for me but for a future MLB shortstop. I get to keep all the money from sales of the Mesquite Candle Holders.

Click the picture for comic strips on-line.

THE NATIONAL POETRY CONTEST HAD COME DOWN TO TWO: A YALE GRADUATE AND A REDNECK FROM TENNESEE. THEY WERE GIVEN A WORD, THEN ALLOWED TWO MINUTES TO STUDY THE WORD AND COME UP WITH A POEM. THE WORD THEY WERE GIVEN WAS ' TIMBUKTU '.

FIRST TO RECITE HIS POEM WAS THE YALE GRADUATE. HE STEPPED TO THE MICROPHONE AND SAID:
"SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND, TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO, DESTINATION: TIMBUKTU ."

THE CROWD WENT CRAZY! NO WAY COULD THE REDNECK TOP THAT.

THE REDNECK CALMLY MADE HIS WAY TO THE MICROPHONE AND RECITED:
"ME AND TIM, A' HUNTIN' WE WENT.
MET THREE GALS IN A POP-UP TENT.
THEY WAS THREE, AND WE WAS TWO.
SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU ."

THE REDNECK WON.

 

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At Large 1094 days

130 Days until PRESIDENTIAL election

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions." Proverbs 18:2

Ever since Shanon sent me the story of the tiny frogs and referred to Proverbs the verse above has haunted and taunted me. I hope I am not a fool too often in my "advanced maturity". I know I was many, many times in my callow youth or at least before I turned 68. I do know that too many times, still, I am certain to spit out my opinion just because I like to hear my opinion. But here goes anyway.

Today our lesson was a continuation on forgiveness. I have gained a little insight into the process and have uncovered some things that I had "disremembered" and have started working on forgiving those involved, including me in many cases. Then I get home and find a lead story in the Chronicle about the break-up of a sex-slave ring in Houston. What a clash of ideas. But then I started to think, always a dangerous thing, that humans have taken two of God's most precious gifts, religion and sex, and perverted them. I don't know whether sex has caused more harm and death than religion but I do know together they have been terribly destructive forces, when misused, in past. Even worse is that almost always it is guys who are perverting those sublime drives. Enough!

I completed assembling the lamp after church today. It looked kind of stark as bare wood so I applied a walnut stain and immediately wiped away most of the stain. Then I mounted it between centers on the lathe and sprayed about 5 coats of clear glossy lacquer. Between coats I burnished the wood with paper towels. As the bored through riser piece dried it slowly bend. In the picture you can see a definite lean. With a large shade the lean might not be so noticeable. I had considered selling the ugly thing but as I was swiveling around in my desk chair I noticed an open place on the lamp table next to my recliner. That would be a perfect space for my lamp.

The lamp is 15 ½ inches tall from the base to the brass cap for the riser. The pedestal is 5 ½ inches in diameter. There is a formed notch on the bottom for the cord. I have already started turning a piece of ash for an even taller lamp. This time I am going to let the green Ash dry before attempting to bore the hole for the wiring. I am not sure what wood I will use for the pedestal.

Twenty five days until I bus to Oklahoma. Seventeen days until I board the Greyhound bus to Oregon. Sixteen days until Romeo and Juliet with our senior daughter Leighann and her daughter Brooke at the Shakespeare barn in Winedale. Three days until we have lunch with my brother, his wife, my two sisters and their husbands at Klumps in Round Top. Forty minutes until a late swim and a "bad pop". Twenty minutes until dinner.



Cameron is so desperate for a cell phone that I promised him all money from sales of the wind chimes from now on belong to him. Please buy all you can. Not for me but for a future MLB shortstop. I get to keep all the money from sales of the Mesquite Candle Holders.

I made three more candle holders with two depressions and will add them to my selection later tonight.

Click the picture for comic strips on-line.

1. Whataburger from the local Whataburger store. Only in Texas and surrounding states.
2.Pepperoni Pizza Burger: grilled burger covered with pepperoni, Mozzarella cheese and pizza sauce.
3.Verde Burger: grilled ground beef mixed with seasoned garlic, topped with piquant Italian Verde sauce made with parsley, onions and capers.
4.Classic Burger: hamburger with ketchup, mustard and pickles.
5.Greek Burger: topped with herbed Feta cheese, black olives and onions.
6.Hickory Burger: beef patty covered with cheddar cheese, bacon and hickory barbeque sauce.
7.Meat-o-Rama Pizza Burger: ground beef patty stuffed with Mozzarella cheese, diced tomatoes and pizza sauce, and topped with pepperoni and bacon.
8.Caesar Burger: ground beef seasoned with garlic and black pepper, on a crusty roll, accented with Caesar dressing, romaine lettuce and avocado slices.
9.Brocco Burger: ground beef patty dressed with a blend of melted Cheddar cheese and cooked broccoli.
10.Gyro Burger: hamburger topped with white onions, tomatoes and yogurt cucumber dressing.
11.Barbeque Burger: ground beef grilled with a tangy barbeque sauce and hot peppers.
12.Onion Burger: grilled ground beef seasoned with dried onion soup mix,and blanketed with grilled and raw onions.
13.Bistro Burger: ground beef covered with caramelized onions, Brie cheese and crisp bacon, served on a walnut bun.
14.Blue Moon Burger: grilled burger topped with Bleu cheese, sautéed mushrooms, lettuce and tomato served on an onion bun.
15.Bao-Wow Burger: chili seasoned ground beef served on a Chinese Bao bun with soy-ginger mayonnaise and Asian slaw on the side.
16.Cowboy Burger: grilled mushrooms, grilled onion, bacon and Monterey Jack cheese on a flavorful beef patty.
17.Chicago Burger: grilled beef burger with sweet relish, chopped onion, ketchup, mustard and hot peppers.
18.French Bistro Burger: hamburger adorned with walnuts, Gruyere cheese and garlic mustard mayonnaise, on a French roll.
19.Sticky Burger: grilled burger spread with peanut butter, bacon and Jack cheese.
20.Five-Spice Burger: ground beef seasoned with Chinese five-spice, grilled, and served with a soy-ginger sauce.
21.Olive Festival Pizza Burger: beef burger stuffed with mozzarella cheese and pizza sauce covered with sliced black and green olives.
22.Shrimpy Burgers: mini grilled burgers decorated with cream cheese, cocktail sauce and chopped shrimp.
23.Rowdy Reuben Burger: grilled beef patty smothered with melted Swiss cheese, thousand island dressing and zesty coleslaw, served on marble rye.
24.Earth & Turf Burger: grilled ground beef, beneath a golden porcini mushroom sauce with grilled zucchini squash and sweet red bell peppers.
25.Egg Burger: a lean ground beef patty paired with a fried or scrambled egg.
26.Thai-Cobb Burger: grilled ground beef served with avocado, tomatoes and bean sprouts, accented with a light peanut dressing.
27.Horseradish-Garlic Burger: topped with onions, garlic and horseradish.
27.Stroganoff Burger: ground beef patty dressed with sour cream, grilled onions, Swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato, served on a fresh wheat bun.
28.Trattoria Burger: grilled beef burger layered with roasted red bell peppers, pesto mayonnaise, and Mozzarella cheese, served on focacciabread.
29.Peking Burger: mix ground beef with a dash of Peking marinade, and grill. Serve topped with julienned mixed greens and an Asian flavored plum vinaigrette (Marinade: hoisin sauce, minced garlic, grated ginger, Chinese five-spice, salt and black pepper.)
30.Spicy Burger: jack cheese melted on a lean ground beef burger with jalapeno peppers and onions.
31.Cordon Bleu Burger: ground beef patty beneath a layer of sliced ham, Swiss cheese and dijon mustard.
32.Burger Al Forno: ground beef seasoned with robust Italian seasonings, fresh garlic, and rosemary, served with a golden Parmesan crust.
33.Garlic Burger: garlic powder mixed into ground beef, grilled, topped with garlic cheese and a dollop of garlic mayonnaise.
34.Corny Burger: tangy corn relish atop a beef patty (Red pepper, corn, white vinegar, ground red pepper, salt and green onions.)
35.The Beefster: grilled hamburger patty topped with roast beef, horseradish and Muenster cheese, served on an onion roll.
36.Milanese Burger: ground beef patty lightly coated with bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and oregano, pan fried till done. Accented with watercress sprigs and vinaigrette.
37.Simple Cheeseburger: ground round burger layered with your choice of Wisconsin cheese.
38.Big Island Burger: hamburger stuffed with Mozzarella cheese, covered with Canadian bacon and pineapple.
39.Taco Burger: topped with shredded lettuce, tomato, sour cream, and black olives. 40.Breakfast Omelette Burger: grilled ground beef patty piled high with diced ham, Cheddar cheese, mushrooms and green peppers, served on a toasted English muffin.
41.Walla Walla Burger: hamburger pan fried in sweet & sour chutney made with sautéed white onions, raisins, mustard seed and marsala wine. Served on thick sliced Texas toast.
42.German Classic: grilled burger with aged Cheddar cheese and Dusseldorf mustard.
43.Blue Bayou Burger: topped with crumbled Bleu cheese, lettuce, tomato, hot pepper mayonnaise, served on a sesame seed bun.
44.Chili Burger: Hearty beef burger hidden beneath your favorite homemade chili and shredded cheese.
45.Kalamata Burger: chopped green & Greek kalamata olives mixed with cream cheese spread on a grilled hamburger.
46.Lucky Burger: grilled beef burger on sesame rye bread, layered with hot-sweet mustard, prepared horseradish, sharp Cheddar, green apple slices, red apple slices and sliced almonds.
47.Pinwheel Burger: different colored, quartered cheese slices arranged in a pinwheel design melted atop a grilled burger.
48.Santa Fe Burger Asada: grilled ground beef brushed with chili puree, placed on a torta bun with bean dip, guacamole and sour cream.
49.Anchovy Pizza Burger: anchovies, Mozzarella cheese and pizza sauce stuffed into a grilled hamburger.
50.North Woods Burger: grilled ground beef stuffed with a wild mushroom sauce featuring shiitake, chanterelle, oyster and hedgehog mushrooms. Enhance with yellow and red bell peppers.
51.Cajun Burger: seasoned ground beef grilled with Cajun spices and spiced up with Jalapeno cheese, chili mayonnaise and pico de gallo sauce.
52.Black Jack Burger: melted jack cheese over a Cajun blackened beef burger, served on a sesame bun with Creole mayonnaise, onions and tomatoes.
53.Double Decker Pizza Burger: Cheddar cheese and pizza sauce between two thin beef patties.
54.The Gouda Burger: sliced Gouda cheese and grilled zucchini atop a grilled hamburger.
55.Simple Twist Burger: lean ground beef patty served with a slice of tomato and grated Asiago cheese on a hard roll.
56.Pineapple-Gruyere Burger: topped with grilled fresh pineapple and smoked Gruyere cheese.
57.Tex-Mex Burger: grilled ground beef piled with guacamole, onions and bacon.
58.Cheesy Pizza Burger: lean burger covered with pizza sauce, Provolone, sharp Cheddar and Mozzarella cheeses.
59.Provolone Ranger Burger: seasoned ground beef coated with Provolone cheese, warm black olives and tomatoes, served on focaccia bread.
60.Gorgonzola Burger: hamburger stuffed with Gorgonzola cheese, grilled and spread with sweet mustard.
61.Ginger-Island Burger: mix uncooked ground beef with soy sauce, ginger, cilantro and sesame oil, then grill.
62.Texas Red Burger: grilled beef patty served open-faced and smothered with chili, cheddar and Monterey jack cheeses and grilled onion.
63.Beany Burger: dried Cajun seasoning mixed with ground beef blanketed with pork-n-beans.
64.Smokey Burger: beef burger topped with roasted balsamic onions, grilled bacon and smoked cheese.
65.Dieters Burger: grilled lean ground beef patty with low-fat cottage cheese and no bun.
66.Outback Burger: grilled burger topped with tender cactus, green salsa and spicy pepper cheese.
67.Worcestershire Burger: hamburger covered with mushrooms sautéed in Worcestershire sauce.
68.Dilly Cheeseburger: grilled burger seasoned with fresh dill and adorned with Provolone cheese, sautéed mushrooms and grilled onions.
69.Cheeseburger In Paradise: beef patty lightly dressed with melted Brick cheese, pineapple slice and shredded coconut.
70.Ranch-Hand Burger: hamburger piled with pinto beans, bacon, chilies and cheddar cheese on a potato roll.
71.Alpine Burger: lean ground beef smothered in sautéed mushrooms and Swiss cheese.
72.Garden-Fresh Burger: ground beef mixed with onions, beets and potatoes, accented with dilled sour cream.
73.West Indies Burger: ground beef mixed with cilantro, garlic, lime juice, curry powder, cumin, allspice and hot sauce. Grill and accent with mango chutney.
74.Fajita Beef Burger: patty mixed with fajita seasoning, and wrapped with guacamole, sour cream, shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and salsa, served in a flour tortilla.
75.Bruschetta Burger: Italian seasoned ground beef with fresh tomato and basil, served on toasted garlic French bread.
76.Sunshine Burger: aged Cheddar cheese, sprouts, scallions and avocado, embellishing a lean beef burger, served on a whole wheat bread. 77.Beef LT: burger prepared BLT style - bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on grilled tomato bread.
78.Pesto Burger: cooked spinach, Mozzarella cheese and pesto sauce served atop a grilled beef patty.
79.Flank Steak Chili Burger: ground flank steak seasoned with cumin and cayenne pepper, heightened with black bean chili.
80.Mediterranean Burger: beef patty seasoned with Mediterranean spices (hot paprika, garlic, cumin, oregano leaves, mint leaves), grilled and served with gyro sauce in pita bread.
81.Pita Pizza Burger: ground beef patty grilled, covered with an herb seasoned tomato sauce and melted Italian cheeses, served on a pita loaf. 82.Parisian Burger: topped with crumbled Bleu cheese, marinated red onions and tomatoes served on a croissant.
83.Tough Texan Burger: ground beef seasoned with hot sauce and dried red peppers, smothered with pepper cheese and barbeque sauce, served on thick Texas Toast.
84.Aphrodisiac Burger: grilled beef patty lovingly stuffed with oysters and dressed with steak sauce.
85.Bleu Cheese Burger: crumbled Bleu cheese and bacon covering a grilled hamburger.
86.Veg-Head Burger: lean ground beef piled with cucumber slices, tomatoes, sprouts, creamy dill dressing, served on sun-dried tomato bread.
87.Dragon Burger: grilled ground beef patty, Limburger cheese and raw onion on an onion roll
88.Crabby Burger: shredded crab salad with Swiss cheese atop a beef patty served on a croissant.
89.Hawaiian Supreme: ground beef patty stuffed with crushed pineapple, topped with a candied apple slice and sweet & sour sauce.
90.Tortilla Burger: beef mixed with onion, dried oregano and basil. Grilled and wrapped with tomato, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses, all in a soft tortilla shell.
91.The Islander Burger: beef patty smothered with thousand island dressing, with lettuce, tomato and pickle.
92.California Burger Chiffonade: chopped walnuts, garlic and black pepper mixed into ground beef and grilled. Burger topped with guacamole, lettuce, Brick cheese and red onion.
93.Potato Chip Burger: hamburger accented with your favorite potato chips, ketchup and mustard.
094.Bagel Burger: lean ground beef patty served with tomato and onion on a fresh bagel with flavored cream cheese.
95.Jalapeno Burger Topper: ground beef seasoned with diced jalapeno peppers, a splash of hot pepper sauce, and grilled. Top with melted cheddar and cream cheese.
96.Basic Burger: grilled ground round burger seasoned with salt and pepper.
97.Burger Au Poivre: grilled ground beef served with crumbled Bleu cheese, coarse ground pepper, chopped parsley and mozzarella cheese on Vienna bread.
98.Scandinavian Burger: dill-seasoned ground beef patty covered in Gruyere and Cheddar cheeses, lettuce, cucumber slices, red onion, and served on a rye bun.
99.Billy Burger: grilled hamburger with ketchup only, no mustard, no pickles, nor onions. Don't forget to cut it in half!
100.Brie Burger: herbed Brie, warmed and placed over granny smith apples atop a lean ground beef burger with a hint of spicy mustard.
101.Chili Con Queso Burger: Beef burger smothered in melted jalapeno cheese sauce.

---

Don't blame Sammy if you cannot find a way to make a hamburger!

 

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At Large 1092 days

132 Days until PRESIDENTIAL election

During this period where I feel so down I have become very fond of two different TV series; "Law & Order Criminal Intent" and "Jon & Kate plus 8". You would be hard pressed to find two shows more dissimilar. I think Vincent D'Onofrio who plays detective Bobby Goren is excellent and very compelling. The Gosselin family of 10, twins and sextuplets, is very entertainment. The show is on Monday 9est/8cst on TLC. My favorite is Jon Gosselin. His interaction with his control oriented wife is fun to watch. I don't know how they can afford to do all they do except for funding from TV and fans.

My brother brought me a bunch of small Pecan and Elm logs and assorted unknown sapling staves. One piece of Elm was especially intriguing. Sometime in its past something had caused the trunk to twist into a corkscrew shape. I thought it would make a good looking rolling pin. But by the time I got the bark off I realized the piece would be too thin and ineffective as a rolling pin. I set the turned cylinder aside and mounted a piece of Sycamore from the Laviollette's home stead with intention to make a bowl. While roughing the Sycamore blank I was still thinking about the Elm piece. I realized that the twisted Elm cylinder coupled with the Sycamore non-hollowed bowl would make a fine table lamp. Sounds so easy! I have wrestled and fretted with these two. I turned them separately and then stupidly decided to bore the hole through the Elm with a 5/8 inch spade bit. I did not consider that the drill would not run a true course through the piece. I should have gone to Ralphs and bought a long 3/8 drill bit. With my arc welder I could have added extensions as needed. I then glued the Elm to the Sycamore and used the lathe as a horizontal drill press to bore through the Sycamore. The glue failed about half way through the drilling. Somehow I have fought through one ill conceived step to another. I bought a lamp kit at Lowes this afternoon. I will finish the lamp, without shade, tomorrow after my reunion group meeting. The lamp will be crappy looking but I have learned about the process.
Partially hollow the piece selected for the base piece using the screw plate.
Bore a deep hole in the base piece to receive the upright with a forstner bit.
Turn an upright piece to fit the hole.
Use Gorilla glue to fasten the upright into the base piece hole.
Mount the base piece onto a face plate being careful about centering the assembly.
Turn the combined piece to roughly the desired shape.
Turn the upright piece at least one inch longer than required.
Bore a 3/8 inch hole completely through the wooden lamp assembly.

The pump on my KOI pond filter failed yesterday evening. Today I bought a DD330 submersible pump at Lowes. The thing has a 3 year warranty from GeoGlobal Partners provided…..yada,yada, etc. I have all the required paper work in my file drawer for pumps. When this one fails I am going to redo the entire plumbing system for the pond filter so I don't need submersible (expensive) pumps.

I finished photographing and coding the web page so I can sell my candle holders from http://lyn1937.com/store/holders.html. The prices range from $20.09 for those with 2 candle holder holes to $32.79 for the ones for 5 candles. That cost includes shipping. Each Mesquite slab will be shipped with enough battery powered votive candles and glass holders to fill the depressions. These are all made from pieces of an 87 year old Mesquite tree harvested from Garner State Park about 12 years ago. Each has 4 coats of polyurethane varnish. Once you get tired of the candle holders you can use the Mesquite for charcoal after the varnish burns off.

I am going to take another swim, lock up the shed, and have another "bad pop" and then to bed. I have to get up early to take my wife and grandsons to a swim meet at 7:45 am so that I can have the van for my Emmaus reunion group meeting at 8:45 am.



Junior grandson is so desperate to earn money for a cell phone that I promised him all money from sales of the wind chimes from now on belong to him. Please buy all you can. Not for me but for a future MLB shortstop. I get to keep all the money from sales of the Mesquite Candle Holders.

Click the picture for comic strips on-line.

Nutty Crunchy Fruit Candy

1 pound Powdered Sugar
1 package 12oz. Vanilla Wafers, crushed
1 - 6oz. can frozen Orange Juice, thawed
1/2 cup melted butter
1-1/2 cups ground Walnuts

In a bowl, combine the first 4 ingredients. Shape into 3/4 inch balls, then roll into walnuts. Place on a cookie sheet-- cover and refrigerate for at least 24 hours, before serving. Store leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge. Yields-- 8 dozen


Marshmallow Popsicles

1 - 12oz. bag Semisweet Chocolate Chips
4-1/2 Teaspoon Oil
40 large Marshmallows
20 Posicle Sticks
1 Cup flaked Coconut
1 cup ground Walnuts or Pecans
3/4 cup colored Sprinkles

Combine chocolate chips and oil in a shallow microwave safe bowl, heat until melted. Stir until smooth. Place 2 marshmallows on each popsicle stick. Dip the marshmallow sticks into the melted chocolate--coat. Allow excess to drip off. Roll in to coconut, nuts or sprinkles on all of the above. Place on a wax paper lined baking sheet. Refrigerate until firm. Yield: 20 servings


Six Fruit Salad

2 cups fresh Strawberries, quartered
1 cup cubed Honeydew
1/2 cup fresh Blueberries
1 large Apple, chopped
1 large orange, peeled and quartered (each section)
1 large Banana, sliced
1/2 cup Orange Jucie
In a large bowl combine the fruit. Drizzle with the orange juice and stir gently. Serve immediately--serves 6 to 8.

 

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At Large 1090 days

134 Days until PRESIDENTIAL election

I have spent a large part of my adult life coping with conflicted feelings about my maternal grandmother. My brother and I were always in hot water when we visited unlike our cousin Allen. Grandmoma Cox always seemed to like him better. Several years ago I realized that she was that way because she knew Allen and his sister and what they did was familiar. Raymond and I were unknown whirlwinds when we hit the house in Carnegie. I have three beautiful, smart, witty grandchildren in Austin and two near by in Houston. So I resolved to remain somewhat aloof and indifferent to the Houston grandchildren to maintain a balance between the two sets of grandkids. That has proved to be impossible. The Houston pair are here so often that I absorb their behavior simply through osmosis. No matter how I try to ignore the Houston grandsons they seep into my consciousness and I am finding them a familiar presence. I can tell the difference in their tumult and know when things are serious. I do not know that about my Austin grandchildren. Brooke, Kellie, and Case are unknown to me except through the occasional visits. What brought all that to mind was boys baseball. My wife has caused me, HEY! I need some excuse, to go to 4 of Cameron's (Houston grandson) baseball games recently. He is on some kind of all-star team for 7 and 8 year olds. The kid is very intense and quite good. He knows the game and is always in position appropriate for the second baseman he is.

This picture shows his ready position between each coach pitch. He goes through an entire rehearsal between each pitch. He practices moving and throwing to the correct base between pitches. I thought he was the most intense youth baseball player I would ever see until my wife emailed me a link to a one legged 8 year old baseball player. The kid is the catcher on his team. The video is embedded in an ESPN news story and is really poor quality. The link is http://www.kentucky.com/454/story/420950.html.

One of the funniest, IMHO, episodes of the "I Love Lucy" series was when Ricky was having a hard time reading to "Little Ricky" a story that had many words containing ough. One of the Grannies named Sammy posted a message that reminded me of that episode. The ough has nine different pronounciations.
"A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

I spent most of the day, after breaking a lamp base off it turning glue block, taking pictures of the Mesquite Candle Holders. I will tonight and tomorrow edit the photos and post them with prices and descriptions on a page at my wind chime store. Each candle holder will come with enough battery powered candles and votive holders to fill the holes. The picture below shows the largest thickest one. It has space for 5 candles. I have not decided on a suggested retail price.

Click the picture for a larger view.

I just opened the bill from Valero for last month. Seven hundred thirty-two dollars and 17 cents!





Cameron is so desperate to earn money for a cell phone that I promised him all money from sales of the wind chimes from now on will belong to him. Please buy all you can. Not for me but for a future MLB second baseman.

Click the picture for comic strips on-line.

A friend emailed me this entry from Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep', which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but:
Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.

Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

 

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I feel too bad and have felt too bad for the last 3 days to attempt an entry. I am stil alive but..... I will try tomorrow.